Policia Suizia

Cops aren’t exactly the same here as they are back home (understatement of the year). They still protect and serve and still do a great job of keeping people safe (and directing traffic with the best of em’), but then… well I’ll just let the story tell the rest.

In all my time here, I’ve never seen a cop actually “pull anyone over” in the traditional sense (i.e. pulling up behind you with flashing lights to get you to park on the side of the road). It’s not that they lack police cars, more so that there just aren’t any real rules to enforce on the highway (other than drive as fast as the road will allow and be as aggressive as possible (until another car honks or waves at you, at which point you ease up, smile and then yield to them)). They still pull people over, but instead of using cars they use check points placed along the major highways and main roads in town to stop “suspect” vehicles. Somehow, our car always seems to be such a vehicle (I think what makes our vehicle most suspect is that we lack tinted windows, and the police can therefore see that the occupants of the car are gringos and therefore have money that can be taken… but I digress). In the past, nothing too major has happened from these encounters (they try to make sure we have required safety equipment (triangles, jack, etc.) or to ensure that everyone is wearing their seatbelt (click-it-or-ticket) or if they notice we’re in a hurry they might create a bogus fine for us to pay before we can leave ($10 last time)). It wasn’t anything much to write home about… until now.

The other day, the other volunteers and I were in Teguc dropping off Joe at the airport (good luck on the interviews!) and then going to the bank to get money for the month. Just as we were pulling into the bank, un policia came up to the car and tapped on the window. Asking for the standard license and registration, I obliged, but the office quickly found fault with my state of WA driving license (they have a Honduran license which you should get after being in the country for 3 months (I came back into the country at the end of Nov, so technically being the driver I was free and clear), but none of the past volunteers nor most people who live here have one, so neither do we). Anyways, he (and you could just tell this guy was a real piece) told us to pull into the bank parking lot (as we’d previously been holding up the traffic he was supposed to be directing) to discuss the issue further. So we parked, got out of the car, and walked over to meet the approaching officer who had stopped some 15ft away from the car and was writing something on his hand. I approached and began trying to work out the problem only to find him oblivious to all the world save his writing on his hand. Finally satisfied with his handiwork, he slowly turned his hand to reveal the following: $7,000 (mind you, not 7,000 limpieras (still $350), but actual US dollars). He was obviously planning on us being new to the country, scared, and rich gringos (of all these descriptors, the only accurate would have been that of the color of our skin). I pretended like I didn’t know what he was saying (i.e. that he wanted a bribe), and insisted that if there was a ticket or fine to be paid, that we could go directly to the station and pay it. Not deterred, he mentioned that the station was closed now (noon) and would not be opened until Monday (the story began on a Saturday just before 12). Realizing the time, we informed him that either way, the bank was closed by this point (thanks to his interference) and we also wouldn’t have any money until it opened on Monday (a slight lie on our part, but I think you won’t begrudge us that). Still, he wanted his cut of our money, and mentioned that there were other banks around town still open (with ATMs if we had debit cards) where we could withdraw the cash to pay him (I mean the police force). At this point, I brought out the big guns, the ace up my sleeve, the secret weapon: I informed him that we were actually volunteers working with the Catholic church for the next year (true), living in nearby Talanga (also true), that all our money came from the local Church (not quite true… it comes from the Passionists, but it’s all the same Church), that we were currently in Tegucigalpa working on a project for Navidad in our community (not true at all), and (here’s the kicker) that we would need to get permission from the local Padres of the Church before spending any money and that (because we didn’t understand exactly what was going on) he could use my phone to call them and explain the situation in full. Thankfully, he had some sense of morality, and not wanting to extort priests (just volunteers), he quickly made his exit without any sort of compensation for his hard work in delaying our day (total time was about 35 minutes).

So kids, the moral of the story would have to be: don’t listen to cops (unless: a.) they actually are legitimate and have a justifiable claim against you or b.) they actually are so corrupt and have so little accountability that they actually detain you without cause and/or harm your person without any sort of consequence).